I have a special little book that I write some of my favorite things in. It is filled with words and phrases that lift my spirit or make me grateful to be alive and to be a child of God. A lot of the words in my little book are words I find in the Liturgy of the Hours Advent/Christmas volume. Words like splendor, radiant, glory, and light are written on the pages. What beautiful words they are! Advent is such a beautiful time of the year; it is filled with such longing and hope. It is also a penitential season enabling us to prepare to receive the newborn Jesus in a more real way into our hearts and lives; yet it often doesn’t feel penitential because this time of waiting and preparation is filled with such joyful anticipation and wonder. It’s sort of like preparing for a holiday party for all of your loved ones. There is a lot of work involved (though with love it doesn’t seem like work at all, but a delight), cleaning, shopping, cooking and doing all of those little extras that will hopefully please everyone…everything is done joyfully, with care and love, because you have expectations of what the party will be like…you want it to be nice for everyone. It’s also like waiting for a baby to arrive in the family…I’m currently awaiting the arrival of a new niece, and it seems I can’t wait to meet her. The anticipation itself becomes very exciting. Of course, if like me, waiting is difficult, then one truly feels the penitential nature of the season. Advent is such a great opportunity for spiritual growth…to develop virtues and to learn that there can be calmness in patient waiting. Peace. Praise God, the Church reminds us of this opportunity every single year!
Waiting has always been difficult for me; I’m a child of the instant gratification culture…of the ME culture. Since there is no room for selfishness in the spiritual life, there is a constant dying to oneself which usually involves some sort of suffering or pain. But the good news is that when something selfish dies within us, there is room for something else to be born inside of us…something better. And that something else is SOMEONE else, Jesus Christ. And that is such great news…someone definitely worth waiting an entire lifetime for.
Sometimes we wait with expectation and longing and hope for all of the wrong things and when they fail to match the perfection that is in our imaginations, we are so disappointed. Many of us have a collection of disappointments in our lives that cling to us. Of dreams shattered and feelings crushed by things or people or ideas that we think will satisfy us and make us happy or joyful, but never do. Even close friends or members of our own families seem to let us down and we let others down as well. We’re always causing each other so much pain. We all have such high expectations of everyone, including ourselves, and most of us possess those expectations on a purely natural level. It’s no wonder we are disappointed so often. All too often we view others as utilitarian to our own needs or value them for all the wrong reasons like intelligence, determination, beauty or wealth etc. It takes the little baby Jesus to teach us how to SEE people or things…to see the whole world around us in an entirely new way…with humble, trusting, baby eyes. A helpless little baby who is at the same time God! It simply boggles the mind in every way and forces us to re-examine everything in our lives and in our world. The amazing thing about waiting for Jesus during Advent or anytime of the year is that He never disappoints us. Never! He is always more than we can dream of or imagine if we surrender our whole being to Him. And when we do, He will teach us how to super- naturalize everything. We will see everyone as made in His image. We will see their inherent dignity as being children of God and we will learn to offer all of our disappointments to Him so that He can transform them into something beautiful. Nothing (not even a single tear) is wasted when it is given to the Lord with love. But sometimes we must first wait for Him. The person to teach us how, especially at Advent, is our lovely Blessed Mother Mary. Mary shows us how to surrender and how to wait.
How much of her life was spent waiting?!...waiting with trust that God would enlighten St. Joseph about the miracle growing within her, waiting for Elizabeth to have her baby, waiting nine months to see and to hold God in her arms, waiting in the cold while St. Joseph searched for an inn, and waiting in a cave to give birth to the Savior of all mankind. She waited with the utmost patience and graciousness as shepherds and wise men came to adore her Son. She waited the prescribed time to present Jesus in the temple, and waited as a refugee in Egypt. She waited on St. Joseph and Jesus with love day after day in Nazareth…praying, working, waiting, and pondering. She waited in anguish for three days when Jesus was lost in the temple wondering if she would ever see Him again and had to wait again as she pondered His reply when He was found. She waited at the bedside of St. Joseph as he lay dying; she waited with perfect trust even though her heart was filled with sorrow. She waited for her Son’s will to be done after she pointed out the need at Cana. She waited to hear news of Him while He was proclaiming the Kingdom of God and even had to wait outside to speak to Him as He gave us all a lesson. She had to wait in calmness as she saw the hatred toward Him whom she knew as both her God and her little baby. She waited while He was betrayed, unjustly accused, abandoned, mocked, tortured, and made to carry His own Holy Cross…the heavy weight of our sins. She waited at the foot of the Cross and watched Him bleed to death, to thirst, to suffocate, and to die of love. It seemed forever while she waited for Him to die, as the sword in her own heart was piercing through, and then she waited for them to place His sacred body into her arms once again. Oh my Mother! Obtain for us your love…a real and faithful love, which is so full of the patience of your Son! She waited for Him to rise again and waited for Him to ascend to the right hand of the Father. She waited for the coming of the Holy Spirit and waited eagerly to receive her Son again in Holy Communion from the hands of St. John at Ephesus. Through the liturgy, she waited, as we do each year, to relive all the mysteries of her Son’s life…of her own life, too, as she was a witness to them all. Let us all ask Mary, our sweet mother, to help us to wait with burning hearts for the coming of the Lord…at Christmas, in Glory, radiant, full of splendor, today in prayer, and in Holy Communion...always and forever. Let us be grateful and attentive to everything that concerns our Lord Jesus so that He can find rest in our hearts.
My tender Lord Jesus, lately everyday seems like an Advent for me as I wait eagerly for Mass and receiving you in the Sacred Host in Holy Communion. There is such anticipation within me because the more I taste your sweetness…your goodness…the more I want you. When I think I might not be able to receive you for a day, it seems I feel the greatest loss inside me (and that is only with a thought!). Thank you for giving me such a perfect schedule so that I can receive you everyday into my own body and thank you for giving me such ardent desires for you that you keep expanding. You pour your life out into me and I live because of you. Every day you make me more like you. I’m so grateful and I want to make the gift of myself to you more complete. Take all of me Lord and continue to be pleased with me even though I see how I have no right at all to your free gifts of love. You are so generous! I’m never disappointed receiving you. You always give me much more than I’m capable of even imagining. I never knew that I could rely on someone so completely; it is such a change from what the whole world says. The world says I should rely on myself for happiness and be full of my own strength and power and make my own world happen. But you come as a baby to teach me how to be humble and how to be poor in spirit and how to trust and rely on you for absolutely everything in my entire life…even my own happiness! Especially my own happiness! It is so amazing! And it is so liberating. My Lord, you give freedom upon freedom. You set us free from sin and free from ourselves. Sometimes, Jesus, when you want to increase my faith or perseverance, it seems you hide from me and I feel alone. In those times especially, Lord, let your mother help me to wait for you and to be still and filled with your own patience. Let her teach me how to love and to ponder in my heart the things I don’t understand until you are ready to give me more light. You always show me what you want me to know when you are ready. I'm so grateful! Thank you, my Lord, for giving us this lovely time of Advent to increase our longing for your coming. I love you. Continue to bless us all and hold us in your tender love. Amen.
Recommended reading:
- The Imitation of Mary by Thomas à Kempis
- Dawn of the Messiah: The Coming of Christ in Scripture by Edward Sri
