God is the creator and we are His creatures. Acknowledging this, the simplest of all truths, is what it means to be humble. So why does it seem at times like the most difficult thing in the world? Why do we like to BE God? Why do we want to be in control of everything and be the creator of our own world? When it is too hot, we want it to be cool. When it is too cold, we want it to be warm. When our head hurts, we want it to stop. We even go so far as to try and make deals with God so we can ‘pretend’ that it is Him in control and not us. “If you only take this suffering away now and get me through THIS moment, then you can give it to me later (at a more convenient time for me).” But when God takes us at our word, when the suffering does come, we’ve changed our minds. Now, we don’t want it at all. It is at this low moment that we are very tempted to fall right into false humility. I’m sooooo bad. I can’t do anything for God. I have noooo love. We must fight against this, beg for mercy, and get back up and begin again. In one of Mother Angelica’s books, she speaks about the three types of people who fall into sin which she likens to a mud puddle. The sinner stays right in and wallows about, the good person gets up, asks for pardon, but keeps brushing himself off, saying all the while, “I can’t believe I fell in,” and the saint gets up, brushes himself off, asks for pardon, and then moves forward and starts again on the way.
God never tires of teaching us that without Him we can do nothing. It is one of the ways He displays His infinite patience and love for us. It would be great if we could learn the lesson once and for all the first time we are given it. God would be able to work through us immediately and without our interference. Yet He knows it will take many lessons for us to be truly humble. We needn’t fear because He IS God and He is in total control. He will keep at it and, each time, the lesson will take deeper root. I think it increases His glory. We fall deeper in love with Him as we see the depths of His patience in regard to us….the depth of His love. Our resolve becomes stronger to please Him and our willingness to let Him save us from ourselves is increased. We become docile in His hands because we become convinced that those hands are good, gentle, and very strong…so strong that we know He will not let us go…strong enough to save. This is how true humility is born in us. Praise God! Let us all ask for the grace to be more aware that we need a savior and the grace to be grateful that we have the perfect savior in Jesus Christ, our Lord.
Lord, Jesus, here I am again standing before your cross as you look upon me with the tenderest love. Heal me with your gaze. Help me to always see your gaze no matter what I’m doing or thinking. For when I’m looking at you, I see the truth of things. I see what love is and hope begins to blossom in me. Hope in you and in your promises. You really love me with the truest love. My repeated falls and imperfections are no obstacle at all for you; they actually become gifts as I offer them with love and beg you to transform them into something good. Forgive me for all the times I resist your plan for me and give me a greater trust in your infinite goodness. Sometimes, you invade my whole being with your presence and I lose all fear. In those moments, I can see that you are making me into your beautiful creation. It’s me, but more me than I could even hope to dream of. How can I thank you? I just look with awe and am overwhelmed and joy fills me to such an extent that it has to pour out of me somehow. Direct that joy, Lord, and use it for your purpose. Use it to draw souls to you…to show them how loving and gentle you are. Help me to die completely to myself and to let you be all in me. And please, Lord, keep filling my heart with desire for you and showing me what it is I truly want because you know more than I what will give me peace. You are my peace; may you always be my peace. Amen.
Recommended reading:
- Humility of Heart by Fr. Cajetan Mary da Bergamo
- Victory over Vice by Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
- The Way of the Cross by St. Josemaria Escriva
